From:

Head of State

http://headofstate.blogspot.com/2008/10/impulsively-unreflective-duo-inmccain.html

The Impulsively Unreflective Duo In..."McCain Goes Negative"

McCain paces the floor in the Fortress of Irritability. He is cracking walnuts.

A walnut slips to the floor.

McCain: Damn nutcracker!

Sarah Palin is sitting in a chair at a desk. She is writing on a piece of paper: "J.M + S.P." This is then crossed out and replaced by "S.P. + J.M.". These alternating versions , the one before it always crossed out, continues down the page.

McCain: Well, the first plan didn't work. We tried to put them in a trance with the folksy ray, but they had their deflectors halfway raised. If only you hadn't called the commander in Afghanistan ""McClellan"

Palin: But...didn't you say they were fighting a civil war, Sir?

McCain stops pacing, looks at Palin silently. He is smiling through tight lips but he is holding back anger.

McCain: "I think the time has come. We have to call in...Dr. Negative."

He pushes a large black button which is the only button on a red phone on his desk.

Dr. Negative immediately bursts through the door. He is carrying flyers, masking tape; telephone wires are wrapped around his arms hanging in every way; a tattered copy of the book "Accusations of Communism, Polygamy, Drug Use, Spousal Abuse, Fascism, Pedophilia, Miscegenation, Cannibalism, Terrorism and Adultery...for Dummies!" is rolled and stuffed in his left pocket, filled with bookmarks; he is dragging a Robocaller behind him, leashed to a chain.

Dr. Negative (quickly, eagerly): Did you hear? Obama was born in Bin Laden's subterranean bomb making factory, outside of U.S. lines. He was born on a pile of cocaine and dynamite--and the midwife was a Trotskyite!

McCain: Not yet, Dr. Negative. I want you to meet Sarah.

Sarah: Oh, we've already met.

Dr. Negative: That trooper went down! He poisoned the salmon milk at the Wasilla Bible school! With drugs made at a Leftist Satan worshiping collective! That you could see from Russia!

Sarah: You betcha'!

Sarah and Dr. Negative give each other a high five. Dr. Negative's telephone wires rattle on his arm as he does so, triggering the Robocaller, which starts playing "...illegitimate babies made in test tube factories in North Korea and sent to Chicago by Bill Ayers..."

Dr. Negative shuts off the Robocaller with an embarassed smile.

Dr. Negative: Just practicing.

There is a pause.

McCain: That's fine, Dr. Negative. That's fine. Because, now, I have a special job for you. An important one.

Dr. Negative leaps into the air with excited glee. As he does, detritus falls to the floor--buttons saying "Election Day: Remember, the 3rd Tuesday in November!", business cards, reading "Push Polls Anonymous--We Call, They Fall", "Mongers On Call-No Rumor Too Far fetched"; Bandaids with purple hearts; mangled and dirty chads.

Dr. Negative: A new job! A special job! Oh, Mr. McCain! I'm ready! I'm ready!

Sarah watches from her chair, filing her nails.

McCain: Now, Dr. Negative. You have to make him seem radical...

Dr. Negative quickly pulls a can out of his right pocket, emblazoned with the word "Radical" He opens the top. Red and Black snakes fly out.

Dr. Negative: (eagerly, expectantly, hungrily) Yes...Yes...

McCain: You'll have to start rumors that are so inflammatory that they will spread like wildfire and will be started too late to stop them with the actual truth...

Dr. Negative pulls a gigantic grinder out of his left pocket. It is labeled "Rumor Mill". He turns the crank a few times. Hamsters, syringes, and Peace symbols fly out.

Dr. Negative: Yes...Yes...

He is salivating.

McCain: They will have to be so incredible, over-the-top, based on such tawdry and poorly sourced evidence, yet riddled with tempting minutia--bullet gauges, Google maps of supposed meetings and the like, that the right will eat them up, and start analyzing the minutia with adolescent glee.

Dr. Negative (Very calmly, matter of fact): Oh, that's easy. They'll eat anything.

Dr. Negative reaches into his back pocket, pulls out a manila envelope labeled "Minutia: So-called "Proof" for the Right". He empties it to the floor. Bullet gauge measures, outdated copies of Photoshop, paperbacks entitled "How to Use the Insane as Competent Witness", "The Faked Moon Landings! Roswell! And Other Believable Phenomena!" and "You TOO Can Be A Warrior--From Your Own Couch!" fall to the floor.

Sarah plucks out the "Faked Moon Landings" book. She starts reading.

McCain: We know how our girl loves to read.

Sarah stops, and begins fixing her hair in a hand mirror.

McCain: Now, Dr. Negative, there is one final task.

Dr. Negative: Yes, Mr. McCain?

McCain: It is very difficult. Very...dark.

Dr. Negative: (Leaning forward expectantly, his voice quivering with excitement): Yes, Mr. McCain, Yes?

McCain: You will have to play the card that they played against me. Do you understand?

The room becomes silent. Sarah stops looking at herself, and looks towards the center of the room where McCain and Dr. Negative are staring at each other.

Dr. Negative: You mean...(eyes widened with disbelief. His telephone wires are quietly shaking as he shivers).

McCain (nodding): Yes.

Dr. Negative slowly removes from his jacket pocket what seems to be an ordinary pack of playing cards. They are labeled "Joker" brand. He takes a penknife from his pocket, and slowly slices the covering cellophane. There is a slight and distant roar. He looks at McCain.

McCain nods.

Dr. Negative then slowly removes the red ribbon encircling the cellophane at the top of the pack. He inserts the penknife--holding it from it very farthest end--and flips open the top of the pack.

Smoke begins to pour from the top of the pack, thick, acrid smoke. It quickly fills the room, covering all that is in sight.

McCain (shouting amidst the sound of smoke rushing into the room): And remember--no fingerprints!

Next episode: The smoke is cleared.

Cite:

Head of State

http://headofstate.blogspot.com/2008/10/impulsively-unreflective-duo-inmccain.html

Head of State:

You crack me up everytime I see one of your posts!

i like that he used "dishonorable" in the ad.

i told my wife the other night, i'm hoping that obama can slip in a few "dishonors" and "dishonorables" under the radar on tuesday night. mccain will catch it and it will set him off. i honestly think that's the one button that you can push with mccain that he can't resist blowing up over -- hitting his honor (or lack thereof).

Excellent ad! The financial advantage is coming in to clear view now. Next up, the devastating ground game!

I agree with the many, this is so wonderful: a crowd not willing to be Swift-Boated by some unworthy swine. "Breath of fresh air" does not remotely begin to capture it.

I was thinking today, picture three aspects in a person:

* Intelligent

* Truly patriotic

* Votes for a ticket with Sarah Palin on it.

One of them's gotta be wrong, right? Can't have all three as I see it.

Great ad! However, if i were the Obama campaign i would play of the term 'out of touch' What the Obama team should do is compile a series of embarrassing McCain moments on the economy and foreign policy while playing Hal and Out's 80s hit ' Out of Touch.'

I think that this is a solid ad. Given Palin's really scurillous attacks on Obama's relationship with Bill Ayers, I have one question:

WHY WON'T ANYONE SAY KEATING FIVE?????

Well, so far, Obama's surrogates are bringing up Keating 5 as soon as the question is brought up. Basically the response.
1. We need to focus on the economy going forward
2. But, if you want to talk about associations, McCain shouldn'y want to go there because of Keating 5.

The Repubs have met their match and his name is Obama.

So, McCain's campaign made public that they would spend the last weeks of the campaign with only negative advertising, then on CBS Sunday Morning about an hour ago they ran an ad (I would imagine it to be quite expensive)that McCain read that for all intents and purposes could have been an Obama ad. I almost expected Obama's voice to approve McCain's message at the end. Like the "Campaign suspension" stunt, everything they announce they're going to do is a head fake. Pulling out of Michigan, sure, but they won't stop the robo calls that they illegally coordinate with their 527's. I was in Columbus Ohio in 2004, the two weeks before the election were a solid wall of such calls, offensive bile that never got reported by the media (and it was so offensive, reporting it would have deeply embarrassed the top of the ticket). Phone banks like this exist because the government allows them, political calls are exempt from "no call" lists. I would guess there are few rich democrats in this sleazy business (I'm suggesting, unsubstantiated, that these services are often in fact unreported donations).
So now I assume the most deranged motives behind any public statement by a republican campaign operative. Especially if they are making claims about how they intend to conduct they're advertising.

The Obama campaign has consistently demonstrated extraordinary discipline. This ad establishes control over the discussion, and the mailers reveal the dark underbelly of McCain's corporate-friendly health care plan.

They're hitting him where he's weakest and on issues that matter most to voters. It's exciting to watch this come together.

My local paper, The St. Petersburg Times ran this front page article today about McCain's Navy days. It's woefully anemic pap compared to the Rolling Stone piece.

Given the timing, it almost looks like they're trying to one-up Rolling Stone. They end up looking like amateurs by comparison. Sad. They used to have a pretty good reputation.

The Obama campaign is - rightly - focusing its full attention on voters who are "persuadable."

Most of us here are so sick of the Republicans that we crave "red meat" attacks on McCain and the horse he rode in on. Not gonna happen. The campaign is not spending the money we gave to entertain use, but to win. It's also not writing it's ads as I would - and a good thing, too!

Read the current cover story in Rolling Stone for an eye opening background expose of John McCain, maverick, agent for change, war hero.

I just returned from canvassing and yesterday I did a phone bank at a "house party" using my cell phone. I called undecided voters in Ohio yesterday. They have decided now - for Obama. I did not have one person hang up on me. Their concerns were 1) The economy and bail out, and 2) the horror at the thought of Palin. I guess the new poll from Columbus OH is confirming what I experienced yesterday.

Today I did canvassing in Kenosha (I live in Chicago) and the same thing - Much upset about the bailout, jobs, McCain's age, Palin.

We have to keep this up - If you've never done phoning before, the campaign gives you the script and the phone numbers and you can have a house party. The canvassing was OK and I had someone with me who had done it for months. We absolutely cannot give up now and just think everything is going our way. There are still quite a few toss up states out there.

Also, as TheraP mentioned above, the Obama HQ office is the most organized, professional operation I have ever seen in my entire working life. Our money is being very well spent. And they are shrewd!

It is reported that McWar will go again to Iowa this week. HE IS SO OUT OF REALITY. I HOPE HE WILL CAMPAIGN IN IOWA UNTIL NOVEMBER 3rd

Apparently, McWar brother said that the VA suburbs are communist country. I am sure this will be well received in Virginia...

The AP is saying that Palin used the race card.

Now we have the following stories coming up

John McWar and his pals: John Singlaub,David Ifshin, Gordon Liddy, Charles Kitting...

And the best, Pitbull made the following comments about the press.
As we send our young men and women overseas in a war zone to fight for democracy and freedoms, including freedom of the press, we've really got to have a mutually beneficial relationship here with those fighting the freedom of the press, and then the press, though not taking advantage and exploiting a situation, perhaps they would want to capture and abuse the privilege. We just want truth, we want fairness, we want balance.